Kenyan Hell-LOOOOOOL (HAPPY MADARAKA DAY)

A man dies and goes to hell. 

There he finds that there is a different hell for each country. He decides he’ll pick the least painful to spend his eternity. He goes to the Ugandan Hell and asks, "What do they do here?" 

He is told first they put you in an electric chair for an hour. Then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the Ugandan devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". 

The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the Tanzanian Hell as well as the

JICHO PEVU” witness in danger.

A former police officer who was recently interviewed by renowned KTN’s investigative journalist Mohammed Ali has claimed his life is in danger.

Mr Richard Nerima who was attached to prominent businessman Rajendra Sanghani revealed the shocking details of how the Executive and Senior Police Officers were involved in the Sh 6.4 billion cocaine haul with the help of the infamous Artur Brothers.

Speaking at Kenya National Human Rights Commission (KNHCR) offices in Nairobi, Nerima claimed that his life is in danger, after officers attached to Criminal Investigation Department tried to trace him through his phone.

“I received a call from the Criminal Investigations 

Bullet removed from man’s leg after 16 years

Doctors at a Saudi hospital removed a bullet from a man’s leg after he was shot nearly 16 years ago and told by the hospital it was risky to have it removed at that time, a newspaper reported on Thursday.

The Saudi man returned to hospital this week after feeling excruciating pain in the leg and doctors decided to keep him overnight for tests, Altaif said.

Doctors in the western town of Taif decided on the next day to remove the bullet after pictures showed it had shifted from its previous place.

“The operation was successful and the bullet was taken out of the man’s leg…he was later discharged after his condition improved and the pain stopped.”

Oddities: Israeli Man Divorces Wife because of Her 550 Cats

A man from southern Israel is divorcing his wife because she adopted 550 pet cats, the Times of Israel reported Wednesday.

According to the paper, the unnamed man complained in his divorce docs that the hundreds of kitties hindered his home life at every turn: they blocked the entrance to the bathroom, swarmed the kitchen, and stalked him at mealtime by stealing his food off the table.

And though the couple reportedly gave reconciliation a shot at the behest of the rabbinical court, the wife ultimately choose the cats over her husband, and the pair decided to go their separate ways.
Let this be a warning to the Russian woman living in a two-room apartment with 130 cats: never marry.

Sema Kuchizi?!

Mandela’s rare appearance on television

Former South African president Nelson Mandela on Wednesday made his first appearance in more than seven months when he received a symbolic flame to mark the ruling ANC's centenary at his rural home in Qunu. 

Mr Mandela smiled as the African National Congress (ANC) chairman Baleka Mbete presented him with the flame in an event shown on television. The handle was emblazoned with the party's colours. 

Seated on an armchair with a blanket pulled over his lap, the anti-apartheid hero looked healthy but a little frail.  

'He was happy and he appeared to be healthy and asked a lot of questions,' ANC spokesman Keith

Charles Taylor jailed for 50 years

Former Liberian President Charles Ghankay Taylor  was sentenced to a 50-year-jail term for 11 counts war crimes, crimes against humanity and for violation of international humanitarian laws.Taylor was found guilty of aiding and abetting war crimes during the dark era of civil war that rocked neighbouring country of Sierra Leone.

He becomes the first former African leader and president to be sentenced for war crimes, crimes against humanity and for violation of international humanitarian law.

Taylor also makes history for being the first former head of state to be convicted of war crimes by

Al –Shabaab behind the Nairobi blast

Internal Security Minister, Professor George Saitoti, has admitted that the terrorist group, Al-shabaab was responsible for the Assanands house blast that rocked Nairobi on Monday.

At the same time, the Minister has assured the public that the government has beefed security in Nairobi and other major towns.

Investigations into the blast at Assanands Building on Moi Avenue points to a fertilizer bomb as the cause of the blast that wounded 38 people.

Detectives working on the scene who were joined by

DJ Johnnie Celeb’s house robbed

Dj Johni Celeb’s house was yesterday robbed by thugs in broad daylight. A brand new Rane Mixer, Turntables, MacBook Pro laptops, hard disks and other electronics were stolen.

He suspected that this was an inside job. He saw it as a plot that involved the watchman and the apartment’s caretaker. He reported the issue to the police who have since arrested the two to assist in the ongoing investigations.

 Johnnie lives on the 3rd floor in an apartment in South B.  His loss amounts to millions as his

About Erick Omondi and Valarie Kimani- karma is a B...

Did you Know that Ericko and valarie Kimani were an item? Mmmhhh! The two were a couple! Apparently, when the comedian was a 1st year at the Daystar University, his eyes were set Valarie.


Recently on NTV’s Teen Republic, Eric Omondi revived a forgotten affair between him and Valerie Kimani.  Openly, Omondi revealed that he had been spending sleepless nights strategising ways of ‘katiaring’ Val.  Here is more insight from a mutual friend of the two.

Apparently, Valerie was reluctant and did not want anything to do with him at first. Maybe because of his small and skinny body? lols. Valarie was then a beautiful young girl quite popular to the boys in campus. Eric - a class clown.

Eric however outdid himself and made it to her heart with his witty jokes mmmhh! Soon-he was Valerie’s new beau.

Their co-curricular activity was walking in Campus together and spending time 

VISA MARRIAGE: BRITAIN’S MOST GULLIBLE GROOM DUMPED TWICE BY KENYAN BRIDE

Priscila Njenga's wedding

Tim & Maryanne Wanja

A builder dumped twice by an African bride who used him to get a UK visa has denied being Britain’s most gullible groom as he prepared to marry a second Kenyan beauty.

Tim Reeves, 58, was dumped by Priscila Njenga the day after she got her hands on a spouse’s visa following their wedding.

Amazingly, when she turned up at his door begging for help getting her daughter into Britain – heartbroken Tim took her back.But the day after he secured her daughter’s visa Njenga left him for the second time and has never returned.

The cheated groom later learned she was already married and had lied about her age – telling him she was 34 when she was 40. Mr Reeves, from Slough, Berkshire, now suspects the whole wedding was a scam and that many of the guests were actors brought in to dupe him.

But despite his experience, Mr Reeves is now engaged to Kenyan Maryanne Wanja, 26, who he has known for four months after they met on an African dating website.He is so besotted he has already moved his lover out of the slum she was living in to a luxury flat in Kenya.Mr Reeves is also paying for all of her food and clothes and school fees for her daughter’s private education.

Tim,Priscilla Njenga nd Helen

His worried family believes he is falling for exactly the same trick again and are panicking about him switching continents to be with her.But the love-blind Romeo denied being gullible and declared: ‘This time it’s love.’He said: ‘I can’t wait to marry

updates: Exposion pictures

more pictures

Explosion: Nairobi’s Moi Avenue

The Kenyan DAILY POST

Word has it that the Assanands house near MKU towers and Tuskys Beba Beba is up in flames. Five people are said to be in critical conditions and have been rushed to hospital. Two of those are women. They have all been rushed to Kenya National hospital.

A lot of people are badly hurt and the police are already in the area evacuating the injured.

The police have confirmed that the explosion on Moi Avenue in Nairobi has been caused by a bomb.  

The explosion has flattened exhibition stalls in the area. Apparently, curious Kenyans have rushed to the scene oblivious of the danger they stand.

The scene is ugly as bloody injured people are being moved from the debris. According to tweets from people near the scene, a lot of people have been trapped in the exhibition halls in the building.

One is feared...

Miss World Kenya: Shamim Nabil

Miss World Kenya Shamim Nabil is living her childhood dream of becoming a beauty queen. The 20 year old aviation student is coast born beauty. She was declared winner on 26^th May, 2012 night by Miss Terry Mungai, the Miss World Kenya franchise director.  Shamim also won Kshs. 1million and a car.

Miss World Kenya Shamim Nabil

 The beauty queen was crowned by the reigning Miss World Ivian Sarcos and outgoing Miss World Kenya Susan Onyango. She is the first Miss World Kenya to be crowned by a reigning Miss World beauty queen.

Emma Zanelle was crowned First Runner-up while Rachel Mahinda Second Runner-up. In attendance to the colourful event at Nairobi’s Hillpark Hotel was Miss World director Julia Morley and Nelson Mandela’s nephew Zwelivelile Mandlesizwe.

Shamim shocked the delegates at the pageant when she walked them through her dreams of fighting...

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